No matter how far along the pregnancy is going through a miscarriage is a heart wrenching affair that takes a toll on your mind, body, and soul. I know the feeling all to well: seeing that positive pregnancy test and immediately beginning to think about all the future experiences that you will get to have. Then comes the bad news. All those dreams come suddenly crashing down when you see blood while you are going to the bathroom or when you get to the doctor’s office and they tell you there is no heartbeat. It can feel as though you are lost, broken, and disconnected from everything. You are however, not alone. Healing after a miscarriage is possible and involves more than just diet it involves all aspects of your mind, body, and soul.
I would say that healing your physical body is probably going to be the easiest part (unless you have some serious complications). While, you may not necessarily feel like taking the time to eat well right after a miscarriage it is an important part of the healing process. If you are currently going through a miscarriage or just had a DNC I would advise eating warming comforting foods that are easy to digest like soups, stews, and slow cooked meats and veggies. This is because your body is undergoing a stressor. A miscarriage is more than just a normal period and you should take the time to nourish your body accordingly. There are many nutrients involved in the early stages of making a baby. Including those involved in cell division and that make up your endometrial lining so after a miscarriage it’s important to make sure that you are replenishing these important vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, and amino acids. So, your body is ready when you are to try again. The following are involved in cell division- vitamin A, vitamin D, iron, folate, vitamin B12, zinc, and fats. Your endometrial lining needs- Vitamin E, omega3’s and l-arginine is an amino acid that helps the body build protein. It’s also known for opening blood vessels to increase blood flow. Your body usually makes all the L-arginine it needs, but it is also found in most protein-rich foods, including fish, red meat, poultry, soy, whole grains, beans and dairy products. Oily fish is one of the best sources of omega 3, and omega 3 has found to be great for increasing blood flow to the uterus. Generally, I recommend eating these nutrients in our diets along with supplementing some of them. I wouldn’t recommend supplementing l-arginine or vitamin A because those are best when consumed in food. You can supplement Vitamin D but getting it from natural sunshine really is best. I do feel we need extra of Folate, B12, zinc, and Omega 3s and would recommend supplementing with those.
There are also some non-nutritional things you can do to help your body heal after miscarriage. These include: acupuncture, yin yoga, mayan abdominal massage/ arvigo, pelvic floor physical therapy, and vaginal steaming. These alternative and traditional practices can be an amazing part of healing your body and may even help resolve what could have caused the miscarriage in the first place.
Healing the body will not be completely finished however until you also work on healing your mind and soul as they are all so intertwined. It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish the mind from the soul but they are separate and I generally feel like anything that is ritualistic and spiritual is great for the soul while things that may seem more logical are great for the mind but really a lot of these suggestions work for both mind and soul. There are so very many ways to work on healing after a miscarriage but here are some of the things I have done: therapy, memorialization, meditation, journaling, and participating in service.
I have been part of both one on one talk therapy as well as group therapy and now I’m in more of a support group type situation. All three of these have been an important step on my healing journey. I would highly recommend doing both one on one and group sessions because one on one allows you to address needs specific to your situation but group sessions allow you to build community which is so so so important to us as humans. I really can’t stress enough how much community is important when we are going through hard times, so if you do just one thing on this list that would be my number one suggestion. The second thing I have done to help me move forward on this journey is to memorialize our babies there are many ways to do this but what I have done is lighting candles, be it at home or in beautiful churches we visited in Spain it felt so good to put a candle up on the wall and know that our baby was recognized by god. If candles aren’t your thing you can check out this beautiful list on All the Little Hearts website.
I started my meditation practice after my first miscarriage as a way to help with my stress levels at work but it has grown into more than just stress relief. It’s a way for me to connect with my body and visualize me as my most healthy and happy self. There are plenty of wonderful websites out there that offer meditations specifically for infertility and miscarriage. Check out my resources page here for links to some of my favorites. It took me quite some to get into journaling. I had tried it out many times as a kid but I never could stick with it until I recently discovered prompted journaling. I personally needed more purpose to my writing and finding prompts really helped me. There are some lovely post miscarriage journals out there but I really love future self, gratitude and manifestation journaling the most. It just feels more hopeful and sets me up to see my day in a better light.
Finally, I have created hope out of my losses by participating in service. There are two ways I do this the first is this blog and my Instagram account. I have learned so much from everything I have gone through and I want to be able to share what I have learned with those who are walking along this path alongside and behind me. Second, I am on the board on my friend’s nonprofit All the Little Hearts. We make comfort bags for women who are experiencing a miscarriage. It feels so cathartic to give back to my community and know that my losses won’t amount to nothing instead they have sprouted these beautiful new communities.
I hope you find these resources helpful on your journey to healing after loss. Peace, Love, and Baby Dust!